“Where are you from?” – A Complex Question for a Defense Kid

“Where are you from?” Such a simple question, often used to spark conversation or break the ice. But for me, this question has never had a simple answer. For decades, I’ve struggled to give a straightforward response.

You see, I’m a Fauji kid – a Defense kid. I belong to everywhere and nowhere at the same time. I don’t have a ‘hometown’ in the traditional sense. I was born and raised wherever my father was posted during his service in the Indian Navy. His hometown? Well, that was never mine. And that, in itself, is complicated.

My father’s hometown is in present-day Madhya Pradesh, which was once part of the Maratha empire. So, technically, we are Maharashtrians. A century ago, my ancestors held influential positions in that land, but now, nothing remains except the culture they carried forward. Until my grandparents’ generation, we were a Marathi-speaking family, deeply rooted in our traditions. But then, my father moved to Bombay (now Mumbai) for his career, and that’s where my story begins – born and brought up in a defense household infused with a blend of Marathi culture and the disciplined mindset of the armed forces.
This upbringing was unique, a world apart from my cousins, some of whom remained in Madhya Pradesh. Those who stayed back primarily spoke Hindi, living more traditionally with the traditions of the land. Oddly enough, my cousins in Maharashtra, who share the same cultural mix as me, feel far closer to my sense of ‘belonging’ than anyone else.

But back to the question – “Where is your hometown?” For me, the answer is both nowhere and everywhere. I’ve come to realize that I am the human embodiment of my hometown. My identity is shaped by what my parents instilled in me, the values passed down through generations, and the experiences I’ve collected along the way.

Belonging, I’ve learned, is not always about geography. For some of us who didn’t grow up in one place, the traditional idea of ‘home’ may not apply. In my 44 years, I’ve lived in nearly 25 different houses, 4 states, and 2 countries. So, where do I belong? I belong to myself and the journey I’ve traveled.

A lot of us may grapple with this – especially those of us who haven’t had a fixed place to call home, who didn’t grow up in one neighborhood, with one school, one familiar backdrop. But perhaps that’s the beauty of it. The more places we live, the more people we meet, the richer our experiences become. And in the end, home is where the heart is – wherever that may be.

Lessons in Belonging
For professionals who have also moved around, worked across cities, or adapted to different environments, my experience offers a valuable lesson: belonging isn’t tied to a single place. Instead, it’s about the values, relationships, and personal growth you carry with you. In the modern workforce, adaptability and openness to new environments are increasingly valuable traits, allowing us to thrive in diverse teams and cultures. The idea of “home” can be found in the communities we build, the contributions we make, and the personal connections we foster.
What’s your story? How do you define where you belong? Feel free to share your journey in the comments – I’d love to hear it.