Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude
Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude
July 18, 2021 1 Comment on Cultivate an Attitude of GratitudeCynthia Ozick, a popular American novelist and essayist famously writes in her essay titled – The Riddle of the Ordinary – “we take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.” A quote that has become so popular that it presents itself in many gift shop items like fridge magnets, coffee mugs, bag tags and more. Today the entire world knows the value of the ‘ordinary’, the things that we took for granted, are the very things that we were deprived of for over 18 months, and counting. We struggled to do the most mundane things, like walking down the road, meeting family and friends, traveling to work, and living an ordinary life. A catastrophe has allowed us to reflect upon our lives and observe the ordinary, which is presently extraordinary. All of us who have survived the pandemic are fortunate. All of us who have had the opportunity to be healthy, gainfully employed, safe at home, recovered or recovering from coronavirus, with our families, and living ordinary lives, can be deemed as extraordinarily fortuitous. An excerpt from the essay that we think is particularly poignant in today’s time:
But the Ordinary is a much harder case. In the first place, by making itself so noticeable – it is around us all the time – the Ordinary has got itself in a bad fix with us: we hardly ever notice it. The Ordinary, simply by being so ordinary, tends to make us ignorant or neglectful; when something does not insist on being noticed, when we aren’t grabbed by the collar or struck on the skull by a presence or an event, we take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.
And this is the chief vein and deepest point concerning the Ordinary: that it does deserve our gratitude. The Ordinary lets us live out our humanity; it doesn’t scare us, it doesn’t excite us, it doesn’t distract us . . . Ordinariness can be defined as a breathing-space: the breathing-space between getting born and dying, perhaps, or else the breathing-space between rapture and rapture; or, more usually, the breathing-space between one disaster and the next. Ordinariness is sometimes the status quo, sometimes the slow, unseen movement of a subtle but ineluctable cycle, like a ride on the hour hand of the clock; in any case the Ordinary is above all what is expected.
Cynthia Ozick, The Riddle of the Ordinary
While we celebrate our ordinariness, let us also understand that we are all unique in our existence, and on what we get to do as part of our daily responsibilities. Research suggests that finding things to be grateful for, no matter how mundane, one can achieve a greater sense of happiness and belonging.
Five Easy Steps to Give You a Head-start
I share with you 5 easy steps that I follow, and you can follow too to cultivate the habit of expressing gratitude.
Maintain a Gratitude Journal
Whether it is a small diary or a notebook, writing down things that we are grateful for everyday keeps our mind on the positive track, especially during difficult periods. Whether we choose to write down these notes at the beginning of the day or the end of the day, one must make sure that this habit is formed with deliberate action in the beginning. These notes could be as small as a couple of words like ‘thank you’, or more elaborate listing out the minute details of what one is thankful for in the day.
Tip: You can buy/assign a new gratitude journal, or a diary that is specifically used for only writing down gratitude notes. Start with writing at least three things you are grateful for in your personal or work life, and build the habit from there.
Have a Gratitude Buddy
Talking about and sharing your feelings is one of the most effective ways to create positivity in our lives. It is helpful to have that one trustworthy person you can speak with about all things that we are grateful for. We often speak with our best friends about the wrong things that are happening in our lives, we often overlook talking about the good ones. Finding a buddy who helps you reinforce the feeling of gratitude and points at the good things in life / at work would help you build a stronger bond with the person, and help you cope with the stressors better.
Tip: You can reach out to your best friend, childhood friend, work friend or a sibling, for a pact to make sure you check-in with each other everyday to discuss gratitude. Once you have maintained a daily check-in habit. You can then change the check-ins to twice or once a week depending on your convenience. Leaders can also encourage morning meetings with a round of gratitude. Team members can talk about being grateful for at least one thing in their personal life, and one thing at the workplace.
Say Thank You
We often take for granted the ones that are closest to us. These could lead to feelings of resentment or disappointment in the relationship. These can be in our personal as well as professional lives. One must keep in mind to acknowledge any act of kindness, everyday actions of help, and people for being there for us. ‘Thank you’ is a two word appreciation, however it is known to have a deep impact on the receiver of this acknowledgement. It also impacts the appreciator positively, creating credence in the relationship between the giver and receiver.
Tip: Make sure that you thank everyone that supports / helps you in your daily activities. Start by saying thank you to your family members when they do something for you. Make sure that you acknowledge your colleagues for helping / supporting you in your daily tasks. Say thank you in a way that they know you mean it.
Forgive
Harbouring a grudge has never helped anyone. We only fill ourselves up with negativity when we hold a grudge against people in our lives, and at our workplace. The best way to turn an adverse event into a positive one is to forgive the wrongdoer, learn from their mistakes, and move on with our lives. We often hold ourselves guilty of things we are not able to fulfil, act upon or provide. We should practice forgiveness for ourselves as well. It will help us learn from those mistakes, course correct and move forward. We need to appreciate what we could do, rather than dwell on what we couldn’t. An attitude of gratitude encourages us to live in the present, and move towards betterment from there. Forgiveness is a virtue that allows us to see any difficulty with clarity and rationale, helping us build positivity back into our lives.
Tip: Reach out to a friend / relative that you haven’t been speaking with because of something that happened years ago. Tell them that you have been hurt by that specific action, and tell them that you would like to move on and stay connected with them. Look in the mirror and forgive yourself, by saying it in words, for things that you have been holding against yourself.
Practice Mindfulness
Today we are inundated with news and messages that are particularly negative in nature and could incite anxiety and stress. Taking a break from all devices and being present in the moment would help us concentrate on the good in life. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. One can practice mindfulness every couple hours, even while sitting on the desk. We just need to disconnect from the world for 5 minutes each time, concentrate on our breathing, focusing on the present moment, acknowledging everything that is happening around us, and maintaining a positive mindset.
Tip: One can start their mindfulness journey with the help of some guiding tools that we have recommended.
We are all trying to do the best we can in the situation that has been thrown to us. The more we practice being in the moment and counting our blessings, the more strength we would develop to tackle any kind of adversity that comes our way. I hope that we are all able to cultivate a gratitude mindset and work towards making a positive change in our lives. Following these steps has helped me immensely in times – good and bad, I hope these help you too.
1 Comment
Beautiful thoughts, beautifully expressed!