4 Effective and Easy Steps to Anger Management
4 Effective and Easy Steps to Anger Management
August 17, 2021 1 Comment on 4 Effective and Easy Steps to Anger Management“I just get so angry all the time! Hulk always… always angry.” – Hulk
Are you Hulk in real life? I mean not a green muscled giant waiting to SMASH! But an angry person? It is different to get angry in situations that demand you get angry, as opposed to being angry all the time. If you are more of the latter, then you might want to read further.
Anger management is not about never getting angry. It is about coping with the anger and channelizing it in ways that would help us and others around us. Although we are conditioned to believe that anger is a negative emotion, it is not entirely true. Anger can be effective in evoking independent thinking, problem-solving, and change-making if channelized correctly. If you let anger control your behavior, then it can adversely impact your quality of life, affect your relationships negatively, and can lead to other physical ailments. While there are many degrees of anger, one can competently manage their anger oneself by employing some of these techniques.
Don’t ‘Vent out’ your anger:
It is a common belief that venting out helps you pour out your anger and relieves you from feelings of hurt and disappointment. It is untrue. Venting out anger can be counterproductive. The ‘venting out’ can fuel more negative emotions and escalate the anger manifolds. One of the solutions that one seeks from anger is change. Conversations that do not offer solutions have the potential of sending you into other bouts of anger instead of calming them. We may end up expressing aggravated and exaggerated expressions of what we are feeling as we vent out. In truth, venting out will not help anyone feel better, it may just worsen the situation. If you have to, speak with someone who has a calming effect on oneself. Not someone who can fuel the anger.
Take a Walk:
Most times when we are boiling with anger, the wise tell us to ‘take a walk’. That would just be the best advice one can get and follow. Removing oneself from the situation at the moment could just be our saviour from a massive showdown, where we may say things we either don’t mean or would regret later. So if you are at a meeting at work or having a word-battle with your spouse – take a walk. Ruminate over what happened and how you would like to react, with a calm mind. Then one can come back and restart the conversation that would not be led by angry emotions. Removing oneself from frustrating situations can also help calm the mind that could be fogged with the immediate rush of emotions. If you cannot take a walk physically, then let your mind wander off to calmer locations. This would help you shift your focus from the existing situation and into spaces that make you happy.
Reason with yourself:
Many angry people replace the feelings of hurt and disappointment with anger, which provokes them to react instantaneously to situations and jump to conclusions. We should take a moment to see if we are being reasonable in our reactions. For this, we would need to develop a stronger sense of self-reflection and control. While it is ok to allow yourself to feel the full force of the emotion. It would be helpful to not react immediately. Try to step back and have a conversation with yourself. List out what hurt or disappointed you the most about the situation. Then chalk out the best steps to find a solution or speak with the perpetrators on a one-on-one basis, with logic and reasoning as your keys to a constructive conversation. If your reason makes you believe that leaving the situation as it is and not taking any steps to ‘correct’ it is the best course of action, then listen to that. Maybe inaction is the best way to cope with that particular instance.
Indulge in activities:
Sometimes anger and contempt may be brewing for some time, leading to damaging interactions. If you are in a bad mood or have been angry over something for a long time, try focusing on your breathing and relaxing your muscles. This works especially when you are entering a big meeting, and nerves are getting the worst of you, making you angry. Before the meeting do something that gives you an immediate feeling of accomplishment, like ticking off that task from the to-do list. During angry bouts, indulge in activities that help you change your focus and are gratifying and rewarding. These could be things like – cleaning, reorganizing a cupboard, speaking to an old friend, cooking a nice meal, gardening, playing a sport, cycling, etc. Look out for more active participation than passive activities like watching television. Feeling a sense of accomplishment often helps in nullifying the effects of unreasonable anger.
Prepare a structured plan that you can follow in situations that make you angry, and repeatedly follow it. In time, you would be able to manage your anger better, and perhaps even start feeling less angry with people, situations, and the world. Studies also reveal that regular workouts and physical activities help people who have a tendency to be angry often feel happier and calmer. So there is another reason to take up that gym/cycling/aerobics class. For more severe cases, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is found to be an effective direction to manage anger. Get professional help for anger that is a constant in your life, and you find it difficult to manage through these tools.
Different people deal with anger in different ways. Some people are naturally inclined to get less angry or have a flair to cope with anger beautifully. Others may get angry more often and find it difficult to deal with these emotions, which could impede their normal functioning and relationships. Make anger your friend and not your enemy. It is a powerful emotion and when used effectively can move mountains, without harming yourself or others in the process.
1 Comment
Thanks ma’am, will surely work the way you said and reduce the anger.