What One Week of Forced Silence Taught Me

Laryngitis has struck me before. I tend to overdo things, so yeh, the body retaliates at times. My condition pushed me into a week of forced silence last week. I had no voice. Not even a squeak. This time my voice didn’t come back within a day, like it normally does. It went on a holiday for a whole working week. Leaving me on ‘mute’ mode for most of the week. I have had 2 months of invigorating action that spanned travel across two continents, covid, a convocation ceremony,  along with my day job and lots of art. In contrast the week of silence was like a much needed break for my over strained vocal cords it seems. The silent week also taught me some life lessons:  

Listening

We have all become so busy that we have lost the ability to listen. We want to say so much that good communication is often believed to be the ability to speak well. Contrarily the truth is that the top line item for good communication skill is the ability to listen. The art of listening  well means that you comprehend the words, the meaning and the emotion of the stated conversation. Since I couldn’t speak, I concentrated on listening. It is a beautiful thing to do. Try it. 

Watch this youtube video on The Art of Listening by Simon Sinek where it explains the concept in detail. 

More Thoughtful Responses

During conversations we are often in a hurry to share our thoughts or points of view. This means that we want to be the first to respond. These quick reactions are rarely thought through, whereas when we take time to think, our responses could be weighed and more relevant. I have been guilty of being quick to respond too. Sometimes the pace of the discussion pushes us to be quick rather than thoughtful. And that is one of our failings. Since no quick responses were coming from me, at least verbally, typing my responses during meetings gave me time to think and write. Even if that ‘time’ could be measured in seconds. I have learnt to take my time and respond, never be in a hurry to blurt out the first thing that comes to your mind. Be thoughtful. It works wonderfully.    

Conversations With Self

When was the last time you spoke with yourself? Had an honest conversation? If it’s been long, you owe yourself that conversation. Spend some time with yourself. Away from the crowd. In the quietness of the space you choose to have this conversation. The week of silence left me with a lot of time to speak with myself. I could speak and hear my thoughts clearly. We often ignore ourselves in the rut of our lives and the people around us. Next time you pour a coffee and look for someone to speak with, turn around. Spend some time with yourself. It helped me rest my mind, slow down time, and was truly an honest connection with the inner me. 

The Power of Letting Go

This was perhaps one of the most important lessons during this time. Oftentimes during complex and impassioned conversations we want to have the last word. Or at least attempt to put forward points that would tilt the scales in our favor. Losing my voice for the week left me with no choice but to not attempt any such debates. Writing these long responses was demanding and therefore uninteresting. I learnt to let go of the need to win an argument. If a conversation or an argument is not of any real consequence then there is a lot of power in letting it go. I have witnessed many of us get into inconsequential arguments, spending precious energy in proving a point that won’t prove anything significant other than a difference of opinion. I am comfortable with letting go. Try it. It is liberating. 

I learnt some interesting lessons with the loss of an ability. Some of these lessons could be meaningful in how we conduct ourselves at work, making us better leaders.